The ‘modern’ way of doing things

For the last 3 days I have been using Skype (thank goodness it’s a cheap method) to repeatedly contact Network Solutions to get my domain, deegan.org released so that I can transfer it to my new registrar (who are infinitely better and significantly cheaper). Time and time again I have been met with long queues, delaying tactics, promises of action that were not met, repeated attempts to get me to allow them to spam me and so forth. I changed the password to access my account (because I’d forgotten it) and they placed an arbitrary 30 day ‘lock’ on the domain to prevent me transferring it as a result. This, it seems, can be circumvented on demand but they are dragging their feet awfully.

I would add, that during these communications they have repeatedly tried to get me to stay with them by offering me ridiculously temporary cheap renewals etc. I have laughed at them as the fools that they are, explaining with relish the facts:

  • a) Their account management interface is rubbish and deliberately designed to confuse the average punter
  • b) Their fees are not even in the same ballpark as reasonable providers (they are over 400% of the cost of my new provider)
  • c) The fact that they have intentionally tried to block me every step of the way while going through this abysmal process has only served to turn me against them further to the point I am willing to do whatever it takes to beat their crappy system

So, latest call, which I am on at the time of writing, and I have painstakingly explained to the poor chump on the phone that I am not a US citizen, I am not used to this kind of bureaucratic rubbish and I’m not prepared to stand for it. They placed an arbitrary lock on the account, they know who I am so it certainly shouldn’t take 24 hours+ to release said lock. I’m fully aware of why they do. Ostensibly it’s for security, which is understandable, kinda, but having identified myself to them they should release it immediately without playing stupid bloody games.

These idiots are a classic example of what is wrong with the way things are run these days. Tried to phone your bank, mortgage provider, insurance company or energy provider recently? You know what I’m talking about then – layers of stupid menus, long waits on hold while they periodically assure you that your business is important to them and they are experiencing ‘unprecedented’ demand. Sound familiar? Welcome to the cost-cutting, shoddy, responsibility-avoiding, lily-livered coward-like approach to customer service. It started in the USA and it’s now coming here. The US contingent have taken it to new heights (just google for Comcast horror stories for some great reads!)

I isn’t takin’ it a-layin’ down I tells ya! So, I’m on hold with Network Problems Solutions, I’ve already given the initial phone-monkey a talking to, and the supervisor is next.

I’m going to get this domain transferred, and that’s that! I have, am and shall continue to leverage my British disdain/contempt to belittle the pathetic efforts of these robots to dissuade me from same.

<30 minutes pass>

Update: So, escalated to level 3  and after an hour got the manager’s manager. To be fair, after I’d given my little spiel about the shoddy customer service, the untold delays and general fail of the whole sorry procedure he was sort of lost for words. Yet helpless. They insist it’s going to take 24 hours and it’s out of their hands but I have a sneaky hope it’ll be done overnight my time. I was able to convey my frustration without shouting at him. I even called him ‘mate’ at one point, all friendly like (I think in between telling him I was recording the call and they’d be on Reddit, Youtube and my log tomorrow if they didn’t come through [this was a bluff, although I wish I had recorded it!]) at which point he seemed a little more motivated.

Anyway, off to France for a couple of days from tomorrow night, so let’s see what tomorrow brings. The lessons to take from this are:

  1. Don’t get a domain with Network Solutions. They will overcharge you 400%+
  2. Don’t get a domain with Network Solutions. They will do everything they can to entrap you in procedure and prevent you moving domains
  3. Don’t get a domain with Network Solutions. Their account management interface is (I suspect deliberately) abysmal in terms of transparency
  4. Don’t get a domain with Network Solutions.
  5. Network Solutions are ironically named. They are actually a massive Network Problem 🙂

 

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